BEIJING, Feb. 5 --To the uninitiated, and that is most of we folk born outside of the US of A, the 'holiday' known as 'Super Bowl' is something of a mystery.

It is widely celebrated in that country, much like Christmas and Thanksgiving but, fortunately, during Super Bowl, you do not have the give out expensive gifts or kill ugly birds which say 'gobble-gobble'.

Now, if you have the misfortune to be invited to a Super Bowl party this coming Monday morning by an American friend, I have some tips that will help you blend in like a true little Yankee Doodle Dandy or, if you so desire, a Redneck.

Don't thank me, I'm a solution-orientated type of guy.

Arizona Cardinals Kurt Warner stands on the sidelines as his team plays the Pittsburgh Steelers in the fourth quarter during the NFL's Super Bowl XLIII football game in Tampa, Florida, February 1, 2009.

THE GAME

The Super Bowl game involves people in helmets running into each other and provides an interesting diversion between the TV ads. It's a little like a demolition derby without the cars, if you get my drift. In the States, they call it football but, aside from a guy called 'punter' and another called 'kicker', there is very little footing of the ball. When watching the game with your American friends just follow their leads and abuse the men dressed in the zebra suits at every given opportunity.